I do not want children anymore

I\’m divorced with 2 children, 7 and 9, after their father cheated on me 5 years ago, leaving me for his new and secret partner.I know what he told me, I know what he told me, I told him. He is currently in a relationship for 1 year. Our relationship was great. I always think of the trauma of my marriage and I would never think of dating if not everything was perfect, it was. I found an amazing new guy. I was in love with him and really dreamed of marrying him.

Until we started talking that he wanted to have a baby with me. He mentioned it before and we both agreed to think about it – but with the kids, we\’re stuck. At my age and in my career, I can\’t risk it. I have a lot of stress, a well-paid job, but the divorce has ruined me financially, and now I\’m a single mother, I keep my head on the water and do my children\’s school homework, homework, activities, and so on as I work. I really hold our lives together with strings and duct tape. The only way I can be a new mother again is if I don\’t work, eliminate work as the main stressor and focus only on the child and the new baby.

I don\’t own my own house yet, but I\’m working on buying a house for a year or two so we can settle down with the kids. I want my children to have a home and be proud of me. A friend earns a lot of money, but he also spends a lot, so he has little left. He does not have big savings. He owns an apartment, but there is no capital there. He said he was sorry that I couldn\’t help trying to buy a house. In addition, he has neglected himself for the past few years, telling me that his health is not great. He is a very nice person, but to me he feels like he has a lot of problems. I love him so much and want him to be happy with me.