We often hear that people choose partners who resemble their parents. Whether or not this is true, your relationship with the people who raised you will have a profound impact on the rest of your life and will be reflected in how you perceive your close friends and especially your partner. However, if you suffer from any of the following three negative attachments, keep in mind that there are ways to change, or at least significantly improve, this condition. In these cases, it is recommended that you consult a professional.
So what are the different types of emotional attachment?
Insecure-type attachment
This attachment is formed by children of parents who only partially satisfy their children\’s emotional needs, are inconsistent, and seek to be dependent on their children. In relationships, these individuals tend to be naïve and often idealize their partners, but at the same time they do not trust them and believe that they do not give them enough. They are restless without their partner and constantly seek reassurance of contact and affection. They are emotionally dependent on their partner. Unfortunately, they are often attracted to people with the following types of attachments.
Avoidant attachment
This includes children of parents who were avoidant and did not give their children emotional support or even punished them for showing emotion. These people avoid serious relationships, do not show their emotions, and perfectly hide their inner insecurities. In relationships, they often feel suffocated by their partner. When a relationship becomes serious, they quickly leave the scene.
Anxiety Avoidant Attachment
Perhaps the worst type of attachment of the previous two combined. People who have suffered childhood trauma, whose parents are emotionally partially available and an immediate source of danger (at least it appears so to the child), or who were abused in childhood will be of this type. In adulthood, relationships are both avoided and yearned for. They seek emotional support but are afraid to communicate their feelings.
[24] Secure Attachment [25] [26] Those who have this attachment can be considered lucky. People who had a healthy relationship with their parents have this attachment. Their parents were reassuring and supportive, meeting their emotional needs and allowing them to grow up as they intended. These people are trusting but not naive in their relationships. They feel comfortable even when their partner is not around, but that does not mean they do not appreciate their partner\’s presence. They are not afraid to express their feelings and needs safely and accept their fate even when they are rejected.