Manipulation is the evil that lurks within us!

Manipulation is the evil that lurks within us!

The other day I made my husband very angry. I didn\’t say anything and I didn\’t know why, but my husband later told me that I had transferred a feeling of helplessness onto him and made him feel guilty for feeling that helplessness. When he offered me solutions, I ignored or blamed him. I was not aware of this. In my eyes, all I had to do was complain and he got angry. Then I became afraid and resentful of him behaving that way. But after the initial adrenaline wore off, I realized it was me who was at fault

Partnersk√Ĺ stres

My family was very toxic and I had learned and unconsciously used various toxic behavior patterns. From the Internet, I learned common signs of toxic relationships and manipulation: inducing anxiety and confusion in the other person, guilt and hopelessness, coercion, tension and helplessness to satisfy the toxic partner, neglect, denial of problem solving, vague and avoidant behavior, accusations that undermine one\’s sense of self-worth, violation of personal space, and demands for gratification. The toxic person primarily sets himself/herself up as the victim and manipulates others for what he/she wants. He accomplishes this in no other way than through hurtful and deceptive methods.


When I learned that I was behaving this way (and I didn\’t even know it), it was a frightening realization. This is because now I never feel that I am treating men the way I would like to be treated. Unfortunately, I do offend him, but there is only one advantage to that. How to recognize it before I say something is a big challenge for me now. I think the main solutions are to act as compassionate and understanding as possible, to be fully interested in what the other person is saying, and most importantly, to act as honestly as possible and say right away what is bothering me and why, no matter how it may sound. Also, I\’ve heard it said before about victimhood, that people with low self-esteem who feel victimized rely on manipulative techniques because they don\’t have what it takes to achieve their goals in a fair way. So the most important preventive measures are to be confident against cramps, not to take people\’s actions personally, and not to defend yourself directly. A balanced, strong and confident person does not need to manipulate others. Let\’s think about it!